7 Ways to Lose Your Fuck Buddy in 7 Days

It isn’t a secret that new dating norms have taken our millennials by storm. Forget those traditional relationships our parents, older sister Jenny, and any other old folk used to get laid. Relationships in your younger years is a thing of the past, and instead new trends like friends with benefits and fuck buddies have taken over. Today, we’re going to focus on the latter. Urban Dictionary defines fuck buddies as, “All the benefits of being in a relationship minus the bullshit like not doing enough for Valentine’s Day or her birthday, not spending three months salary on a stupid ring, and not spending enough quality time with her.” Used in a sentence: “The sex with Lisa is great, but she’s a pain in the ass – I wish we could just be fuck buddies and not boyfriend/girlfriend.” For most younger 20 somethings, having someone just to sleep with and nothing more is a real game changer- and in a good way. But, there are some things that can make your setup go downhill very fast. We present to you seven ways to lose your fuck buddy in 7 days.

1. You call and text them off the hook.

The only thing worse than a needy boyfriend or girlfriend is a needy fuck buddy. No one should have an over the phone relationship- meaning you always call or text each other- unless you’re dating, you’re good friends, or you’re family. Last time I checked, the person you casually sleep with but nothing else shouldn’t fall into any of those categories, so stop blowing them up. Constantly trying to remain in communication or start a random conversation seems like a relationship will for sure turn your buddy off. Sure, it’s totally fine to text them if it’s after 8 PM and you want to bang. In fact, the only time you should text or call them is to set up your next time and place to bang. But it’s not okay to text them two, three, even four more times if they don’t respond. You’ll leave the person you’re banging wondering why they’re dealing with the annoyances of having a relationship when they don’t.

2. You don’t like using protection, AKA you’re dirty AF.

It’s not a secret that if you have one fuck buddy, you probably have multiple. Maybe you don’t have multiple, but you certainly hook up with other people besides each other. For obvious reasons, if you don’t use protection, you’re either risking the high potential of contracting an STD or getting yourself/ someone else pregnant. I’m going to go out on a limb here and say that as a young 20 something-year-old, you don’t want to have a baby with the person you’re casually hooking up with. Anyone with a brain should know to steer clear from anyone who makes excuses as to why they don’t want to use a condom.

3. You can’t get over the fact that you want more than just sex.

The biggest difference between dating and being fuck buddies is that there is nothing more than sex in the latter. This can be hard for some people to get used to, the fact that there is virtually no emotions in this setup. For these reasons, if you can’t keep your heart out of it, you’re going to lose your fuck buddy faster than you can unfollow them on Twitter. If you don’t think you can handle it, get out of it. Don’t stick around hoping and praying that maybe it will turn into something serious, because it won’t.

4. You get jealous and act upon your jealousy.

As I mentioned before, as fuck buddies, you basically owe each other nothing, besides some general respect. You’re by no means exclusive, and there is nothing weird about hooking up with others. For these reasons, if you get jealous when you find out that your fuck buddy hooked up with someone else, that is totally not chill and will cause them to run for the hills. Let’s say Sarah and Brad are casually hooking up, and Brad sees Sarah flirting with another guy at the bar. If Brad goes up to Sarah or sends her a passive aggressive (or just plain aggressive) text, Brad has no chill. You can basically guarantee that Sarah will never sleep with Brad again. As I said before if you can’t handle the openness and non-exclusive nature as far as sex goes in this setup, don’t get involved in it to begin with.

5. You try and have deep conversations, or bring up personal things.

The last thing your fuck buddy wants to hear about is how your parents divorce ripped you apart. Or how your dog died last year, and you haven’t coped well with death since. Or how you totally regret not applying for law school this year. Or how you’re freaking out because your younger sister is getting married before you. Catch my drift? The only thing they care about is sex, and having it with you, so shut your yapper. Sure, casual small talk is fine, but that’s where the dialogue should end. Sharing personal information is meant for people in relationships, and for the millionth time, you are not.

6. You get a little too comfortable with them.

Fuck buddies should not cuddle, should not sleepover, should not look like crap around each other, and shouldn’t get lazy with personal hygiene. Yes, boys and girls, you both need to shave. Everywhere. Also, don’t get lazy in the bedroom. Boring sex is for bad relationships and old people.

7. Lastly, you develop feelings, and you tell them.

The quickest and harshest way of getting your fuck buddy to cut things off with you is when you fall for them, and you try and have “the talk.” You might think that this talk will make them realize they like you back, but nine times out of ten they won’t. Sure, we’re all human, and most sappy romantics will say you can’t control who you fall in love with. But sorry to break it to you, if you’re one of those people who fall for their fuck buddy or fall for someone after a casual meet n fuck, be prepared for some downhill heartbreak.

Looking to learn more about fuck buddy relationships ? Check out the video below.

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